"In our lives we give up so much for friendship until one day it comes back and slaps us in the face"
How much have you given up for friendship?? i know i have.. A LOT. I gave up moving to the most magical place ever for one main reason that i couldn't face leaving my "best friend" behind. Even the smaller things count; staying behind with her while the rest of the group have the time of their lives because she wasn't feeling well, never mind that it's my life too. Buying her little chocolates and things that would make her happy in the hope that one day when i need to be lifted up she will gladly do it for me. I didn't have to buy her things, i could have bought me the chocolate and all the gifts, i would've been happier but i decided to give up my happiness for her.
Lets go back. Every weekend we'd be talking non-stop on the phone even though we see each other every day at school. we'd always make plans with each other and not care if no one else would come because all that mattered was that we were together. Me being self-conscious braced it and went to the beach because she wanted to, you see again, giving up something to make other people happy. We'd made a pact that every party we'd sleep at each other's house and get ready together. i thought i finally found the friend i'd needed all along.
A few weeks ago it all changed. i'd walk into class so excited to see her after a weekend and all i'd get was a shoulder shrug and a smile that looked like it was too much effort to even try and look excited to see me. Break times turned to how-long-could-i-hold-my-tears-in-times. Why? because it would always be a competition with other people in the group to get her attention just to ask how she was doing. She'd always make jokes so other people could laugh. when i looked at her during this time i could see her brain working over time thinking of things to say to get other people to give her the attention.
A few days ago. Like normal, Fridays after school were movie day. we went in a group of 5. there was just something not right. I felt like i just shouldn't have been there, I felt like i was spoiling her moment to prove to all the others that she was the ultimate..SHE'D NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE. I don't know what it is with people these days but all they seem to care about is how much attention they can get from other people.
Yesterday. this was the day were i felt that feeling. There was nothing i could do about it.That feeling that cant be fixed. That feeling of being replaced. I sat down at break and was about to open my mouth to ask how she was doing until i saw it. I saw her laughing with the other person like we did.
I saw that attachment like i had with her. I felt all of my emotions pour out of my eyes almost like i was stripped naked of " the best friend clothes" and had to hand it over to other person. Most of all i felt like i could never smile again, well at least not like a girl with a best friend does.
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